Renegade (Devil’s Boneyard MC 6) Read online

  “You’re not fine,” Nikki said. “What the hell was that?”

  “It’s nothing,” I said, brushing off her concern as I struggled to my feet. The hallway spun a moment as I got my bearings, and then I was fine. Well, as fine as I ever was at any rate. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn’t exactly have medical insurance, or money for a doctor.

  “Anything I need to know?” Renegade said.

  I glanced his way and wished I hadn’t. His eyes flashed with anger and his jaw was tight. Yeah, he was still pissed at me, even if there had been two of us in that bedroom. It wasn’t my fault he hadn’t thought to use a condom. Or at least, it wasn’t entirely my fault. I was willing to share the blame since we hadn’t exactly had the sex discussion before things progressed as quickly as they had. If we had, then he’d have known ahead of time that I might be carrying something.

  “I haven’t kept anything from you. Nothing important.”

  “Nothing important,” he repeated. “But something. What is it you haven’t told me?”

  “I sometimes get seizures. I just zone out for a few seconds, occasionally up to a minute. Lately, I get some warning signs before it happens, but that didn’t used to happen. They’re changing and I don’t know what it means.” I looked away. “You won’t have to worry about it. I’ll be out of your way soon.”

  “What’s that mean?” Nikki asked. “It’s not safe for you out there! What about Fawn?”

  My heart ached at the thought of putting my daughter in jeopardy. But staying wasn’t an option. It was obvious Renegade was pissed at me, and I doubted he wanted me to stay in his home another moment. Maybe he could return the things he’d bought for us, except the clothes we were wearing.

  “You’re not fucking leaving,” Renegade said.

  “You don’t want me here,” I said softly. “I never meant to cause any trouble. I should have left when I woke up.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Nikki asked. “If you weren’t going to stay, why not leave right then?”

  “Fawn. She trusts the two of you and seemed happy. It was the first time she’d had a real home and I didn’t want to take it from her.” I tipped my chin up and stared at Renegade. “If I go, can Fawn stay with you? Just until I can make other arrangements?”

  He stared at me, not a single emotion showing on his face. When he spoke to his sister, his voice was soft but still held a ring of authority.

  “Leave, Nikki. I think I need to discuss a few things with Darby.”

  Nikki gave a quick nod and scurried away. I heard her speaking to Fawn and then the front door opened and shut with a click. Facing Renegade, knowing I was alone with him except for my silent five-year-old, had my heart hammering in my chest. I didn’t know what was about to happen, but I hoped my daughter didn’t pay the price. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to her.

  Chapter Five

  Renegade

  She wanted to leave? Not fucking likely. I’d never been inside a woman without a condom, and I was pissed as hell that I’d screwed up. That was on me, though. I wasn’t mad at her. Didn’t mean I was letting her walk out of here. If there was even the slightest chance she carried my kid, she wouldn’t be going anywhere. It was the way she’d claimed I didn’t want her here that had me wanting to bellow in rage, and it was my own damn fault. I shouldn’t have run from her room, should have talked to her. It seemed she’d drawn the wrong conclusion over my reaction to the lack of protection.

  My gaze scanned her body, noting the clothes I’d purchased fit her well. The leggings hugged her hips and the stretchy shirt clung to her breasts. Even with her hair wet and hanging down her back unbrushed, she was still beautiful, and far too fucking tempting. The thought of her carrying my kid had scared the shit out of me, but seeing her like this made me hard as fuck and all I wanted to do was bend her over again, consequences be damned.

  “We’re going to go eat with Fawn, then get her settled with a movie or her new toys. You and I need to have a discussion,” I said.

  She nodded, but her face had paled and I knew she was scared. As much as I wanted to reassure her, I had a feeling she wouldn’t like what I had to say right now. Considering how bikers had treated her so far, it wasn’t likely that she’d be thankful I was about to forbid her from leaving my house, at least until I knew if I’d knocked her up. Although, I had to admit the thought of her and Fawn out there on their own didn’t give me any warm fuzzy feelings. Even if we were able to stop Boomer, it didn’t mean she’d be safe. What if any of the others who had hurt her found her off on her own?

  I followed her to the kitchen, then pulled out a chair for her beside Fawn. The little girl had already finished her bowl of soup and stared into the bottom of the dish. Reaching for it, I dumped it into the sink and took down a plate. I filled it with the casserole Nikki had made, then set it and a fork down in front of Fawn. The little girl’s eyes went wide and she grabbed the utensil and started shoveling the food into her mouth as if it would be her last meal. It made me wonder just how many times she went without food. Clarity had mentioned that she was overly thin. No kid should ever go hungry. It’s why I’d started a charity ride with the club last year. All the money earned went to the local schools with their promise to earmark it to pay for meals for anyone who couldn’t afford breakfast or lunch.

  Focusing on Darby, I realized that she was watching her daughter with tears in her eyes. Regardless of our issue, I knew that she would do whatever it took to keep her kid safe. That alone made things a bit tricky. If I did get her pregnant, then I knew she’d be a good mom to our kid. I couldn’t just toss her out and keep the baby, which meant… Fuck. I’d have to claim her. I waited but the feeling of my heart being squeezed, of being unable to breathe never came. Typically, the thought of having a family scared the shit out of me. I wasn’t ready to analyze why the thought of Darby and Fawn being here wasn’t stirring that same feeling. Oh, I’d been scared shitless earlier, but the two were rapidly growing on me and it hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours yet.

  “Do you want soup or the casserole?” I asked Darby. “Nik made them so they’re safe to eat.”

  “Maybe the soup,” Darby said.

  I fixed a bowl and set it in front of her with a spoon. The way her hand shook as she fed herself told me plenty. Fawn wasn’t the only one starving. It didn’t take a genius to figure that what little food Darby had been permitted she’d given her to her daughter. The fact they’d lasted as long as they had was a miracle. I didn’t think Darby would necessarily see her situation that way. She’d been through hell, but if she was anything like Meg or Clarity, then the experience would only make her stronger as she healed.

  I scooped some of the casserole onto a plate and sat next to Darby. She tensed a moment, but kept eating. It was tempting to take the spoon from her and feed the soup to her, but I didn’t think she’d appreciate the help. Even though we were still strangers, despite the fact I’d been inside her, I could tell that she was the independent type. The fact she’d even asked to leave Fawn here for a little while was astonishing. Not that Fawn was going anywhere, or her either.

  “Fawn, your mom said someone hurt you and that’s why you can’t speak,” I said. “The doctor who helped your mom might be able to help you too. Would you let me take you to his office so he can check your throat tomorrow?”

  At first, I thought she’d ignore me, but she set the fork down and faced me. Her nose was slightly scrunched and it was obvious she didn’t like the idea, but after a moment she nodded. I only hoped that Chansy could help the kid. I couldn’t imagine being unable to talk, especially because some asshole had hurt me. Then again, I’d just kick the guy’s ass. Fawn and Darby didn’t have that opportunity. Not that I thought a woman couldn’t take care of herself. Havoc’s old lady could take just about anyone to their knees, and his daughter was well on the way to being just like her mom and dad. much to the horror of everyone who met her. The dickhead who had kidn
apped Darby had used them against one another to keep them in line, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him.

  “I’ll text the doctor after we eat and make sure he knows we’re coming tomorrow. I’ll stay with you the entire time if you’d like.” I glanced at Darby. “I know you probably want to go too, but I think it’s safer for you to stay here. If I take both of you, Boomer might try something. I’ll make sure someone goes with us, and I’ll ask a Prospect to stand outside the house in case you need anything.”

  Her lips thinned, but she didn’t comment. Probably thinking about her plan to run off, but that shit wasn’t going to happen. She obviously trusted me with her kid, since she’d asked to leave Fawn here. Now I just needed to make sure I put Darby on lockdown as soon as possible. The last thing I wanted or needed was her disappearing and Boomer locating her. I hadn’t heard a peep from the Pres or anyone else since I’d relayed the info about Darby’s situation. For all I knew, Boomer was long gone, but I somehow didn’t think so. If he’d left Darby in a dumpster in this town, he was more than likely hanging around to see if news of a body surfaced. He had to know that Fawn couldn’t talk, so she wasn’t a threat to him. As badly as Darby had been beaten, if no one had found her, then she could have died. I didn’t know why he hadn’t finished the job, or if he’d just been careless. If I’d dumped a body, I’d want to make sure the person was really dead and find out if there were any leads when the corpse was discovered.

  We finished eating and I let Fawn pick a movie to watch in the living room, then I took Darby by the hand and led her to my room. I shut the door, then leaned against it, arms folded, to guarantee she had to stay and listen to what I had to say. She looked around the room, her hands twisting the hem of her shirt. When her gaze locked with mine, I could see the vulnerability there, and the resignation.

  “I should have been clearer when I told you what happened to me. I guess I assumed since I got pregnant with Fawn, you’d understand they didn’t use condoms. You need to get tested and I understand why you’re pissed, but --”

  I held up a hand to stop her. “Yes, it’s a concern that you could be carrying something, but an STD isn’t what freaked me out earlier. I didn’t run from that room because I thought you had herpes or anything else. It was the realization I’d taken you bare and you could damn well be pregnant right now.”

  Her mouth opened and shut.

  “I told myself a long time ago that I would never have a family. I’ve used women for pleasure, but never let one get close. And the thought of kids? Not something I wanted. That being said, if you’re pregnant, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you leave here with my kid.”

  Darby seemed to shrink in on herself and I wished I’d been a little gentler in the way I’d phrased things. When she’d said she was leaving, it wasn’t because she was trying to keep our potential kid from me. She’d thought I didn’t want her here, and in some ways, she’d be right. I hadn’t wanted houseguests, especially of the female variety, but now that they were here, that I’d had a sample of what it was like to be inside her, I didn’t want to let her go.

  Fuck me. I was so screwed, and I had no doubt that Scratch and Cinder would have fun at my expense for a while.

  “I’m not angry with you, Darby, though you’re right and we both should get tested. I’m upset with myself for losing my head and not remembering protection. I’ve never taken a woman bare, not even when I was a teen. Being careless has consequences, ones that neither of us are really prepared for. Yes, you have a kid already, but do you really want another one right now?”

  She pressed her lips together. I didn’t think she’d say anything, but then she blew out a breath and came closer.

  “Fawn is my entire world, and even though she’s the result of rape, I love her more than anything. If I’m pregnant again, I’ll love this baby too.”

  “That isn’t what I asked.”

  “No,” she said softly. “I don’t want another one right now. Things are too messed up. Boomer could still come after me, I have nowhere to live and a daughter I can’t even feed most of the time. The last thing I need is more responsibility.” Her eyes grew sad. “I feel like a horrible mom for saying that. Does it make me a bad person?”

  I reached out and pulled her into my arms. The way she melted against me felt too damn good, but I didn’t release her. She needed comfort and I had to admit I liked that I was the one to give it to her.

  “You’re not a bad person, Darby. And you’re an awesome mother. You’ve suffered in order to keep your kid safe. We’ll get Fawn whatever help she needs, but you’re wrong about one thing.”

  “What?” She tipped her head to look up at me.

  “You do have a place to stay. Here. I’m not throwing you out, and I damn sure didn’t go buy a bunch of furniture and toys for you to just haul Fawn out of here. This is your home for however long you need it.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, but she slammed them shut to keep the moisture from trickling over her lids. She buried her face in my chest and held on tight. I wondered how long it had been since anyone gave a shit about her, or offered her a bit of help. We hadn’t discussed her life prior to Boomer getting his hands on her. I knew nothing about her. Speaking of…

  “You need to be seen about your seizures. If they’re preventable, then we need to get them handled before something bad happens. I’ll get Chansy to schedule you somewhere. I’m sure you’ll need an MRI or something. Fawn can stay here that day with Nikki or Clarity and her kids. She’ll be safe.”

  “Why are you doing all this?” she asked.

  It had started out as an order from my VP. He’d wanted me to bring her to my home and take care of her. It was the last thing I’d wanted to do, even though I’d wanted to ensure they both got whatever help they needed. Then I’d gone and kissed her, and fucked her. Now Darby was under my skin and I didn’t know what to think or how to feel. Part of me still wanted to fucking run as fast as I could, but the other half? The other side wondered what it would be like to have Darby in bed with me every night, to wake up with her in my arms, to teach Fawn how to ride a bike and watch her grow up.

  Yep. Screwed. Most definitely fucked in all ways.

  Goddammit.

  I knew what I needed to do. I wasn’t ready yet to admit it’s what I wanted. Who the fuck decided in twenty-four hours they were keeping a woman and her kid? Then again, there was Scratch to consider. He’d been tempted by Clarity from the moment he met her, or so he said. Fucking hell. I wasn’t about to admit that he could have been right about that Fate shit.

  As she stared at me, I realized I hadn’t answered her question. What exactly did I tell her? That her pussy was the best I’d ever had? That her kisses made me want more of them? I didn’t think she’d be too impressed that the sight of her in the leggings she had on made me want to bend her over the nearest surface and bury myself balls deep.

  “When I saw you in that dumpster and saw how scared your kid was, I knew I couldn’t walk away. You needed help and I was going to give it to you. Honestly, I’d thought I’d take you to the clubhouse and let someone else take over, but now that you’re here in my home I don’t want you to go.”

  She blinked, then her brow furrowed and her nose scrunched like her daughter’s had earlier. “What does that mean exactly? That you don’t want me to go?”

  “I want you and Fawn to stay. In my house.” I cleared my throat. “And I wouldn’t be opposed to having you in my bed every night, but it’s not a deal breaker if that’s not what you want. I’m not going to kick you out because I can’t fuck you.”

  I inwardly winced. I wasn’t exactly known for my eloquence and I was proving that right now. It would be a miracle if she didn’t run the other way, or even slap me. Although, she didn’t seem like the slapping type. Maybe she had been at one time, but right now she was more like an abused puppy, waiting for the next person to strike her.

  “In your bed.”

  I nodded.


  “Are you going to share me like Boomer did?”

  “What? No! Fuck, no! You’d be mine, Darby. Mine and mine alone. No one would ever touch you.” I blew out a breath. I was fucking this shit up. “If you’ve been around clubs, then you know about old ladies, right?”

  She nodded.

  “I want you to be my old lady, Darby. My name, and that of the club, would give you protection. You and Fawn would have a home, a family, and you’d never want for anything ever again.”

  The minute I said the words I had to wonder if I’d just dug my hole deeper. I was making it sound like I’d be doing her a favor, and while it was true she would benefit from the arrangement, it wasn’t like I didn’t want her around. Jesus. Why was this so fucking complicated? Havoc just laid claim to Jordan and they lived happy-ever-after. Sort of. It didn’t look like I’d have it that easy. Darby didn’t trust anyone. Or at least she hadn’t, and for good reason, but it wasn’t making this any easier on me. I’d thought she was coming around, but it seemed it would take a while to break through the training Boomer had instilled over the last five years.

  “And what do you get out of it?” she asked. “Because I’m not exactly a prize.”

  “I’d get to watch Fawn grow up and teach her things, as her dad. And I’d get you in my bed every night.” And again with the eloquence. I made it sound like I was thinking with my dick, and while he certainly had an opinion, the brain above my shoulders was actually making the decisions.