Renegade (Devil’s Boneyard MC 6) Page 7

  “I find it hard to believe you can’t snap your fingers and have whatever woman you want.”

  She wasn’t wrong about that, except the only one I seemed to want was her. No one had tempted me until Darby. The whores at the clubhouse had tried their best. Even women around town who wanted to walk on the wild side would try to lure me into their beds, didn’t matter if they were single or married. Not a single one had gotten so much as a twitch out of my cock. Then I’d held Darby and gotten hard as a fucking post.

  “Maybe the only woman I want is you,” I said. “I already admitted I lost control and took you without protection. I’m forty-four years old, Darby. I’ve been sexually active since I was fifteen, and not once have I ever gone bareback. You did that to me, made me lose myself and only think of getting inside you.”

  “You’re… You’re…” She shook her head. “There’s no way you’re forty-four. You look thirty. If that. I could tell you were older than Nikki, and definitely older than me, when I saw you back in high school. I didn’t think you were that much older, though!”

  “Want to see my license to prove it?” I pulled out my wallet and showed her.

  “Cory Adams?” she asked, her lips tipping up a little at the corners. “You don’t seem like a Cory. I think Renegade suits you better. The name Cory makes you seem tame. I don’t think I’ve ever met a badass with that name before.”

  “Know many of those, do you?”

  She shrugged a shoulder. “I’ve met a few, or at least men who thought they were. I think it was more that they were just assholes.”

  I fought not to smile. It seemed my little Darby was coming out of her shell. She was getting bolder and more playful. I liked it. It made me wonder what she’d be like in a few more weeks or months. Before that could happen, I needed to handle Boomer. Darby wouldn’t feel safe until that dickhead was dead and buried, or locked up for the rest of his life.

  “You’re mine, Darby. Maybe I should ask you to stay, but I won’t. If I give you the choice, you’ll leave. Not because you want to, but because you don’t think you belong here. You said you’re unworthy of me? That’s bullshit. You even think of leaving and I’ll track you down, then paddle your ass until you can’t sit for a week, then I’ll fuck you long and hard to remind you that your place is right here with me. Understand?”

  She slowly nodded. It wasn’t fear in her eyes as she looked at me. It was hope.

  Tangling my fingers in her hair, I tipped her head back, then brushed my lips against hers. I kissed her soft and slow. There probably hadn’t been much of that in her life. I’d fucked her in the other room. Now I wanted to make it up to her. Unfortunately, Fawn was still awake and I wouldn’t take a chance on her walking in here or looking for her mom while I was balls deep inside Darby. I’d lost my head once already, with both Fawn and Nikki in the house. I couldn’t risk it again. I pulled away before I was tempted to do far more than kiss her.

  “We should go sit with Fawn until she goes to bed,” I said.

  “You want to sit with us?” she asked.

  “What did I tell you?” I asked.

  “That I’m yours.”

  “And that means that Fawn is mine too. I want to be the dad she never had. I’ll probably fuck it up somewhere along the way, but I want to try.”

  She smiled softly. “That’s all any of us can do. Try. Do you think I knew how to be a mom when I was fifteen? I still don’t have all the answers.”

  I grasped her hand and led her out of the bedroom. Fawn was still on the couch watching an animated movie. She didn’t even look our way as we sat down. Darby claimed the spot next to Fawn and I sat in my recliner. There was something almost comforting about sharing my space with them. Seeing the pure enjoyment on Fawn’s face, and the contentment on Darby’s, made a warmth spread through me.

  I wasn’t perfect, and I had no fucking clue how to be someone’s dad, but I was going to do my damnedest to give them both everything they could ever need or want. I hoped that one day they would be able to put the horrors of their past behind them. Until then, I’d have my work cut out for me. Starting with the Mayhem Riders.

  Chapter Six

  Darby

  My heart felt like it was going to fly right out of my chest, along with the butterflies tumbling in my stomach. He wanted us to stay, to live here with him, to be his family. I’d never considered that anyone would ever see me as more than a piece of ass, and while he’d been clear he wanted me in his bed, Renegade treated me differently than anyone had before. For the first time in five years, I felt hopeful that Fawn might have a fairly normal life, and that I could stop living every day in fear.

  He’d promised to keep us safe. More than that, he was giving us a home. The fact he was part of a motorcycle club scared me a little. I hadn’t met the others and didn’t know what to make of the Devil’s Boneyard. Other than the whispers I’d heard as a kid living in this town, I didn’t know anything about them. They didn’t seem to be all that bad. He’d mentioned his VP had kids. Were there other families inside the compound? Would Fawn have children to play with?

  My precious baby had started to fall asleep toward the end of her movie. The moment Renegade had noticed, he’d picked her up and carried her to her room. It was the first time I’d been in there and it amazed me how much he’d bought for her in so little time. It looked like she’d lived here for weeks if not longer. She snuggled under the covers and held her arms up to him. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry as he gently hugged my sweet girl, then kissed her forehead.

  Renegade came toward me and paused before leaving.

  “I’m going to lock up. You need to decide where you’re sleeping tonight.”

  My gut clenched. He was still giving me a choice even though he’d made it clear he was claiming us as his. No one had ever given me a choice in whether I wanted to be touched. Even in foster care, I’d had more than one foster dad think it was okay to grope me when his wife wasn’t looking. Renegade was different from them and from Boomer. I didn’t quite know what to make of him.

  I told Fawn goodnight and gave her a kiss on her cheek. After I shut off the light, I stood in the hall and wondered if I was brave enough to go after what I wanted. I’d had a crush on Renegade when I hadn’t known him. Now that I was seeing how kind he was, I wanted more of that, more of him. He might be rough around the edges, but he treated me better than anyone ever had. To some, he might be considered an asshole, but under his gruff exterior he had a good heart. If he didn’t, then he’d have left me and Fawn in that alley to fend for ourselves.

  My heart hammered as I took one step after another toward his bedroom. I heard him moving around the front of the house, checking the windows and doors, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he went to his room. I crossed the threshold and stared uncertainly. Should I strip down to nothing? Stay as I was? Boomer and his horrendous friends were the only men I’d known intimately until Renegade had taken me earlier in the other bedroom. I didn’t have any idea what to expect.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, his rough voice making me spin to face him. He leaned against the doorframe, looking relaxed and unconcerned, but I could see the tension in his body.

  “I’m sure.”

  “You’re not doing this because you think I’ll throw you out?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I want to be here, to share a room and a bed with you. I’m just not sure what you expect from me, what the rules are.”

  “Rules?” His brow furrowed.

  I licked my lips and wondered if I should say something or keep silent. There had been a lot of rules when Boomer had owned me. With Renegade, I didn’t quite understand my place. He said he wanted me to be his old lady, and while I sort of understood what that meant, I’d never had a chance to talk to the ones I’d met and had no idea how their lives differed from what I’d known with Boomer. I’d noticed their property cuts and that some were marked on their bodies.

  In the end
, I decided to clamp my mouth shut and not tell him what I’d meant. He’d heard enough about my captivity. If there were certain things I should or shouldn’t do or say, then I hoped he would tell me so I wouldn’t anger him or embarrass him in front of the rest of the club. Despite the fact I’d been living with a biker the last five years, I felt a bit out of my depth with Renegade. He wasn’t like anyone I’d met before and I didn’t know how to act, what to say, or what to do.

  “Darby, the only rules I have are about your safety for the most part. In our home, you can call me Cory if we’re alone, but you don’t have to. In front of the club, I’m always Renegade. No one can call me Cory except you, or Fawn if she were able to speak. I don’t mind you leaving the house, but until I have a property cut for you, I want you to only leave if you’re with me.”

  I nodded my understanding and he continued.

  “After you have the property cut, you need to wear it whenever you’re outside of the house, even if you’re outside the compound. No, especially if you’re outside the compound. I’d prefer that you stay inside the gates unless you have an escort of at least two men, doesn’t matter if they’re patched members or Prospects. Same goes for Fawn when she wants to go outside the gates.”

  “Why do I need to wear the property cut outside of the compound?” I asked.

  “For protection. It shows everyone you’re mine, and that means I’ll protect you with my last breath.”

  “What about Fawn?”

  “Kids don’t get one, but maybe we can come up with something if you think she’ll feel left out. She’s just as much mine as you are.”

  I took a shuddering breath and released it, letting the tension ease from me. There were still things we needed to address. I just wasn’t certain how to bring them up.

  “I saw your cut and know you’re important. You have a title and not everyone does,” I said.

  “I’m the Road Captain for the Devil’s Boneyard. Does that bother you? I know you said Boomer was a Nomad, so he wouldn’t have been an officer for any of the chapters of the Mayhem Riders. Were you around the others very often?”

  “Sometimes, but I learned early to keep my mouth shut and keep to myself. I just wondered if your club had to approve of me before you claimed me? What if they think I’m not good enough?” I hated baring my soul like that, letting him see that I was still vulnerable.

  “My VP and Pres have already hinted that you were here to stay. They won’t have a problem with it, but I do need to ask if they’ll call Church so I can make everything official. I also need to discuss Boomer with them and figure out how we’re going to handle him and the Mayhem Riders.”

  “Will I get to meet everyone eventually? Are there a lot of kids Fawn can play with?” I asked. I remembered him mentioning someone named Scratch had kids, but were there other families here too?

  “I’ll see if one of the old ladies will throw a family party at the clubhouse soon so you can meet everyone, and yes, there are kids for Fawn to play with. Jackal and Josie have a daughter named Allegra who is close to Fawn’s age. Caleb is Scratch and Clarity’s boy and he’s around the same age too.”

  “Are those the only kids?” I asked.

  “No, there are a handful of others, but they’re all younger. Irish and Janessa have a girl who’s a little younger than Fawn. The rest of the kids are three or under.”

  At least I understood why they had a playground. It seemed that quite a few of the club members had settled down and started families. It gave me hope that I had found myself in a good place, and that Fawn would thrive here. She deserved to have a dad and family who loved her, friends, and to know that she was safe and loved. Renegade had already given her far more than she’d ever had before. I’d been lucky to get a pack of crayons and a few coloring books from the dollar store here and there. Boomer had never cared if she had toys, or even if she ate for that matter. She’d just been a pawn to him.

  He pushed away from the doorframe and came toward me, stopping close enough I could smell the leather of his cut and the scent of whatever cologne he used. Slowly, he reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. My eyes slid shut and I found myself leaning into that touch.

  “If you’re sure you’re ready to move in here, to stay in my bed every night, then you should go get your things. I’ll make room in the dresser and closet. Bring your bathroom stuff too.”

  I opened my eyes and turned to do as he’d said. He’d purchased so many things it took me several trips to move everything from the guest room and hall bathroom. As I put my things away, I left out one of the pajama sets he’d bought. He hadn’t said anything about sleeping naked, but if it was a requirement I was sure he’d say something when I started to change clothes. Boomer had hated it when I wore clothes to bed, even though I didn’t sleep in his every night, he liked me to be ready and available.

  A shiver ran down my body at the thought of his touch. If I never saw him again, it would be too soon. I heard the shower running and changed for bed, then slipped under the covers. Far too nervous to sleep, I clutched at the blankets while I waited on Renegade to come to bed. He came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and went to the dresser, then pulled out a pair of underwear. Without a hint of modesty, he dropped the towel and put his boxer briefs on.

  I admired the lines of his body, and the graceful way he moved, like a predatory cat in the jungle. He didn’t come straight to bed. Instead, he grabbed his phone and started tapping on the screen, then made a call when he was finished. I tried not to eavesdrop, but it was hard since he hadn’t left the room. I heard him request testing for both of us, and mentioned my seizures. I’d never heard of someone calling a doctor at home, but I had to wonder if that’s what he’d done. Then again, I’d never known a doctor to make house calls either.

  By the time he slipped into bed next to me, I was wound so tight that every muscle in my body started to ache. Even though he’d asked for the tests, the damage had already been done. I didn’t know if he would wait for the results before he touched me again, or if he’d ask me to strip at any moment. He turned to face me, lying on his side, and draped his arm over my waist, tugging me closer to him. His lips brushed my temple.

  “Get some sleep, Darby. I have a feeling the next few days will be busy and you need your rest.”

  “You aren’t going to…”

  “Not tonight. And for the record, I’ll never take something not freely given to me. If you’d told me to stop earlier, I would have no matter how badly I wanted you. Always remember that. You’re safe with me.”

  I rolled over and clung to him, burying my face in his chest. Having him hold me, run his hand up and down my back, made tears spring to my eyes. He let me cry, murmuring words of comfort until I sniffled and wiped the last of the moisture from my cheeks. It had been so long since I’d permitted myself to have a good, hard cry. Admittedly, I felt a lot better, and while it was partly due to the man holding me, it was more than that.

  “Was that the doctor on the phone?” I asked.

  “His after-hours nurse. She said we can come in tomorrow to have the tests done and Chansy can speak to us then about a referral for your seizures. Fawn can go with us, but I’d prefer not to take you both out at the same time. Less temptation if Boomer is still lurking.” He rubbed his beard against me. “The text was to the club Pres, Cinder. He said we’ll have Church first thing in the morning. We can go to the doctor’s office after that. You’ll be alone here with Fawn for a bit, but I’ll have a Prospect outside the front door to watch over the two of you.”

  Everything was changing, and so fast that I felt like my head was spinning. I didn’t know why Renegade had found us, but I would be grateful to whoever had placed him in the right place at the right time. I didn’t know that I believed in God anymore, not after all that had happened during my life. Truthfully, I didn’t think I’d ever believed. But if there was a greater power watching over us, then I was thankful they’d chosen Renegade to
keep me and Fawn safe. The thought of Fawn being in that alley, vulnerable as I lay unconscious in a dumpster, terrified me. What if someone as evil as Boomer had found her? I could have lost my baby forever if things had turned out differently.

  “You’re thinking too much, Darby. Sleep,” Renegade murmured.

  I knew he’d said I could call him Cory, but it really didn’t suit him. I had to wonder if he had a middle name. Most people did. Would he get angry if I always called him Renegade? Even though he’d said it was my choice, he had to have a preference.

  “Darby.” There was a hint of warning in his tone.

  “I’m sorry. My mind is racing.”

  “Then talk to me. Whatever is bothering you, just let it out.”

  I bit my lip and decided to start with the easiest question. “Do you have a middle name? Or something only your family calls you?”

  He chuckled softly. “Still don’t think I look like a Cory?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “My middle name is Slater. I used that name in high school because I thought it sounded cooler,” he said. “You’re welcome to use that if you like it better than Cory and don’t want to use my road name.”

  “Slater.” I smiled. “I like it. I can see you as a Slater.”

  “What else is bothering you?” he asked.

  “I don’t think it’s worries so much as just… I’m overwhelmed? I thought I would die when Boomer beat me this last time. Instead, I woke up here with you, my daughter safe and cared for, and I’m not sure how to act or feel.” I pursed my lips. “Did you ever watch that show Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Sarah Michele Geller?”

  “I’m not going to admit if I did or didn’t.”

  From his tone, I could surmise that he had in fact watched it, and apparently enjoyed it. Good. We had something in common, even though the show had gone off the air before I was old enough to enjoy it, I’d caught a few reruns over the years and had gotten hooked.

  “When she comes back from the dead in season six, the way she feels when she re-enters the world. That’s sort of how I feel right now. I’ve been in hell most of my life and suddenly the world is bright, nearly blindingly so. She wasn’t in hell, but the harsh difference between where she’d been and being alive again, that’s how I feel.”